What does your handwriting say about you?

A colleague of mine enjoys a casual study of graphology, also known as handwriting analysis. And when she offered to have a look at a sample of my handwriting, just for fun, I gave her one of last year’s journals.

Some of her insights seemed to contradict one another. For example, “Head always filled with thoughts, pride, judgments, doubts,” but also “Open and approachable, with a ‘live and let live’ attitude,'” and “Too humble/lacks confidence.”

I imagine this is the kind of thing a pro graphologer could clarify. On the other hand, astrological birth charts are always rife with contradictions. We all have our struggles, after all.

Among her other topline insights  were things I’m currently working on, such as “insecure about showing emotion.” But I also enjoyed seeing validation for things like, “dependable/good under pressure,” “enthusiastic” and even “selective about friends (hard to win over).”

If she offered to look at your handwriting, would you be curious? Apprehensive? What do you think your handwriting says about you?

Proof of oneness

Last night,  seven amazing women read cards for me as part of an Intuitive Tarot group meetup. Of the 33 cards turned on my behalf, there were only two repeats of any given card. Intriguingly, they were  major arcana numbers 15 and 13, The Devil and Death, strongly suggesting the the huge change I’m seeking  requires me to first look at the lies I tell me about myself.

Fair enough. Then this morning, I received an email from Consciousness Circle Helen. She posed a question she was “expected” to pass along. The question was odd enough that I’m sure if my guides had/have attempted to pose directly, I would have failed to perceive it. Now, thanks to her willingness to receive it on my behalf,  I’ll be working with all this question stirs up for me. And staying open to any connection between this morning’s message and that of last night’s cards.

How connected are we, we Earth dwellers?  I’m always amazed.

Photo credit: Jiaren Lau

One conundrum of free will

One of my favorite colleagues of the day job attends a mainstream Christian church. He and I occasionally engage in a respectful exchange of views on the big questions.

Today I asked him whether he leaned toward the idea of fate or whether he believed we all have free will. Free will, he said, without hesitation. I agreed, with the caveat that I believed that, before I came into this life, I had my own agenda of lessons I wanted to learn. And though I can’t consciously remember it, this agenda is in play. That’s why I can trust that anything that seems to be happening through a force beyond my control is actually a realization of something I chose to experience.

He reminded me that he doesn’t believe in reincarnation. Yes, his soul is immortal. Yes, after his body dies, he will go to a world of spirit to live forever. And yet, he believes his soul was born when this body was, and that this one life on Earth is the only physical life he will experience.

(I jokingly said, “Then why the heck aren’t you out bungee jumping and stuff?” He looked thoughtful and replied, “That’s a good question,” which made me consider why the heck I’m not out bungee jumping, myself! Easy to see why we’re such good friends in spite of our apparent differences.)

BTW, this whole discussion began with him asking, “What are you up to lately?” It launched me into some observations on a David Wilcock presentation I recently viewed. The presentation’s upshot is that our species, like all species on our earth, is poised to undertake a massive, evolutionary change.

The presentation is packed with exciting possibilities, along with some disturbing ideas, as is true of much of the 2012 material out there. For example, it was easy to extrapolate the idea that many, many of us will not survive the change, whether because we are overcome by the changes in weather and its consequences, or through violence perpetrated by those who are unable or unwilling to accept the shift.

In my view of free will, I chose to be alive at this time, knowing this was on the way. I know I’m no victim of circumstance, whether I live through this shift or not. But if I were my friend, how could I reconcile these apparent contradictions? His faith amazes me anew.

Menopause without a map

My mother had a surgical menopause in her 30s. I’ve no blood aunts, no living grandmothers and my only great aunt is both deaf and senile. Who’s a girl to talk to when menopause comes a-knocking?

Friends, sure. Consciousness Circle, definitely. Intuition. And of course, visualization.

With no family horror stories hanging over my head, I’m free to visualize a smooth and joyful transition from decades of menstruating (a process I grew to love and revere) to decades of a different kind of giving and receiving.

In the early months of this year, I experienced mild hot flashes–so mild, in fact, that I referred to them as warm patches. They’ve stopped. It’s now been over three months since my last period, though I know better than to toss my menstrual supplies just yet. Thankfully, the strangely persistent breakouts I experienced last year seem to have calmed as well.

At the moment, the only troublesome symptom of my transition is flaky, dry skin–an issue I never expected to face. And frankly, if this is my biggest worry, I count myself blessed, indeed.

Shaking the "Good Girl" syndrome

For years, it held me captive, this drive to be a Good Girl. When growing up, it boiled down to:

  • being punctual,
  • getting good grades
  • never getting loud about anything.

But, as I’ve already mentioned, getting loud turns out to be necessary for me right now. Likewise letting go of the idea clocks measure anything quantifiable and instead accepting that everything happens at Exactly The Right Time. And while I’m still a big fan of the kind of curiosity that can lead to academic excellence, though no longer finding it necessary to have someone judge the results for me to feel good about it.

Interesting that less than a week after cutting aka cords, the originator of those cords has made two attempts to draw me back into Good Girl syndrome by offering me after-the-fact rewards for past behavior. I phoned Conciousness Circle Lisa and she laughed saying, “Yep, I almost warned you that would happen, but didn’t want to create the expectation.” She led me through a visualization to renew/reinforce my independence from that energy. What a blessing, to have friends to call on.

Cutting the cords

Friday, I was with Consciousness Circle buddy Lisa, describing the waves of fear that had had me on an emotional roller coaster recently, especially leading up to last week’s eclipse. To her clairvoyant/audiant senses, much of the blockage between me and a more abundant state was wrapped up in aka cords draining me.

I’d not heard the term before. It’s a name for the energetic threads that connect us in all our relationships (even our relationships to things).

These particular cords had become a negative connection for me. After asking if I were ready to sever them, Lisa led me through a beautiful exercise in which I named the cords I could perceive (I only felt/saw two–one connected to my solar plexus, labeled “shame,” and one at my throat I called “shhhhh”), then saw them cut away, as well as any others I might be seeing that weren’t serving my highest good.

My response is a measure of just how safe I feel with Lisa. First, I wept, then began spontaneously vocalizing–sound that gradually became more pure until I was toning. And hey, I don’t have any training in that. It was loud. Clearly, the “shhhhh” line had been severed. Hee!

Laugher was next. It bubbled up and had me cackling. Very freeing feeling, to laugh spontaneously without any external trigger!

The whole experience made perfect sense to me, particularly in light of what happened the week before the Solstice.

But that’s another story.

The online part of my journey begins

My toenail polish is called “Disco Inferno.” It’s purple, and I love it.

Don’t know about you, but I aim to have as much fun as possible on my soul’s journey through this life. Goodness knows all those years spent taking myself seriously didn’t win me any big happiness prizes.

I have some of the most delicious friends in the world. Some of them, I consider members of my Consciousness Circle. That means when we’re together, Spirit seems to move more freely through us, making possible some amazing insights and experiences. I know I can talk to them about anything.

It’s good to know I’m not alone. None of us are. Ever.