Even as I asked the question, I had to laugh. Just the word “drawing” told me everything I needed to know.
First, I drew up a list
- Drawing is an art form.
- The act of moving charcoal across paper, i.e. drawing, is an act of creation.
- To draw something is to bring it to you, for example drawing cash from an account or drawing attention in a crowd.
- Drawing also implies tapping a power source, for example, an appliance draws electricity through an outlet.
Then I sketched in some details
In the dream, it took me forever to pick out the perfect place to sit and create my latest drawing assignment. Once settled, I began talking myself out of drawing at all. The assignment had been to draw my classmate, a good looking man named Paul. I knew one of the other women was hoping to begin a relationship with him.
Pretty flimsy excuse for dodging an exercise in creativity.
And finally, drew some conclusions
- I, too, desired my hunky classmate, though my dream self wouldn’t acknowledge it.
- If I drew him, I would energetically draw him to me. A good thing, right?
- What then? What if I had proof that I was an infinity powerful creative being? Overwhelming!
- What if everyone knew as well as I did that I didn’t deserve it?
And there’s the real rub of it. Apparently, I’m still grappling with feeling worthy. Still hesitant to use my full power of creation. Still trying to rationalize my fears by pretending to protect someone else’s best interests—as if any of us are qualified to know what’s in the best interest of another.
How are you doing with these questions? How do you hold yourself back? Where do you fling yourself headlong into creation? And how adept are you at admitting your desires (and believing you’re worthy to live them)?
As for me, guess I’ll be going back to class tonight!
Photo credit: Sarah Robinson